Imagine if Dungeons & Dragons had sex with a Choose Your Own Adventure book and their love child was raised on a steady diet of pulp fiction stories written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Robert E. Howard, and Dr. Seuss.

That’s Crypt Shyfter. And I’m Kung Fu Space Barbarian! I’m the dude who writes all this nonsense.

Crypt Shyfter is a series of single-player text adventure games set in an absurd fantasy universe filled with heroic badasses, evil shapeshifting cyborgs, and pizza!